A recent conversation on Twitter about the trend of advertising (romance?) novels simply by their tropes got me thinking about how I choose what I want to read, what gets me interested, and how different it is for books vs fanfic. And so, here I am writing this post, which honestly is of interest to exactly one person (me!).Read more “How I choose what books or fics to read (spoiler: it’s different!)”
Right, so, I’ve always really loved this scene in the donghua, and we’re just going to pretend that Huaisang was there, offscreen, even though we don’t see him when we focus on NMJ’s table.
Anyway, JC makes his super dramatic entrance, whipping off his cloak
And NHS almost falls over from shock, because he had resigned himself to the idea that both JC and WWX had been killed, and now here he is. Alive. Apparently healthy.
NHS thinks he’s never been happier.
And Jiang Cheng looks… it’s not happy, obviously. But he looks… excited. And he’s speaking passionately about uniting against the Wen clan, and then JGS and the other old sect leaders that just want to pretend nothing is wrong try to shoot him down,
and now he’s angry and he’s so obviously thirsting for revenge, and there’s just so much passion and Huaisang can only stare.
And then the clans that LWJ arrive, and NMJ stands up and successfully extols everyone into commiting to the Sunshot Campaign.
Among the shouting and cheering, Huaisang just sits quietly, staring at Jiang Cheng. He doesn’t know if he wants to break into laughter or sobs.
So many people are staying at the burned remains of the Cloud Recesses that night. Camping out, really, there’s not enough intact buildings for anything else. Huaisang and his brother are sharing a… well, it used to be a guest room, but one wall is gone.
It’s cold, and Huaisang is already wrapped in his ownblankets, but Mingjue’s are empty. There’s a war to be planned and he’s at the heart of it, Huaisang thinks it might last till dawn. He sighs and snuggles into the blankets, trying to stay warm.
And then he thinks, Jiang Cheng will be at the war meeting too. He’s Jiang-zongzhu now, he’s importantly, and he has a personal stake in this that Huaisang knows he can’t really hope to understand. He closes his eyes, and in his mind’s eye he sees the scene from earlier again.
That cloaked figure, dramatically removing his cloak, and it’s Jiang Cheng, alive and tall and somehow powerful, and Huaisang bites his lip and slips his hand inside his robe, inside his pants, and he jerks himself off as he lays in that cold room, thinking of Jiang Cheng. 💜💚
NMJ indeed doesn’t come to the room they’re sharing until just before dawn. JC had actually asked about NHS, he’d wanted to talk to NHS but been too busy with everything. NMJ told him he can talk to Huaisang tomorrow (today?), there’s still time before all their plans are set
He looks at his sleeping little brother. He seems considerably younger than JC now, even though he’s half a year older. NMJ thinks it’d probably be good if Huaisang actively pursues this friendship with JC. Might help him grow up (oh, he has NO clue, I don’t think 🤣)
What if (this is after wwx has left) nhs tells Ouyang, who wanted to hang out with them “sure, you can join us, but the price of admission is a jar of emperor’s smile!” and then promptly forgets all about it. Meanwhile, the poor guy sneaks
out to Caiyi Town to get the stuff, and is back late but feeling quite accomplished. He’s fun too!
He arrives outside Nie Huaisang’s room and is about to knock when he hears… a moan. He stops with a hand poised on the door. And then Huaisang’s voice, breathless and wrecked:
“Oh… yes, right there, Jiang-xiong…”
There is a pause and then Jiang Cheng’s lower voice “Fuck, you’re so tight.”
“Keep going, Jiang-xiong, please”
The color has drained from Ouyang’s face as he pulls his hand back. There are moans and soft kissing sounds coming from inside.
Ouyang glances around nervously. His heart is beating like a scared rabbit. He can’t stay out here, he could get caught by LWJ. The sensible thing is to just go back to his room. He hears a gasp followed by another moan. He glances around the side of the building. There should
be a window, put of sight and in the shadows. If LWJ is close enough to see someone there, he’ll be close enough to hear too. He doesn’t think about it, he just sneaks around. There is soft candle light coming from the window. He holds his breath and peeks in.
Pause to start my day, sorry, we’ll find out what future sect leader Ouyang sees later 💜💚
The room is dim, lit by a candle next to an open book on the table (it’s one of NHS’s special collection). There’s also two jars of Emperor’s Smile, one empty and on its side. Ouyang’s mind doesn’t really register these things. His attention is captivated by the room’s occupants.
NHS is bent over, leaning over the table on his elbows. His heavy, dark green robs are hitched up around his waist, and his trousers have been tugged partway down around his knees. The skin of his bare ass glows warm in the flickering light of the candles.
JC is standing behind him, one large hand gripping him by the waist. The other hand…
Ouyang watches that hand move slightly, back and forth, his face reddening as he realizes JC is moving two fingers in and out of Huaisang’s ass.
Ouyang has heard about the pleasures of the half-eaten peach. He’s had occasion to look through some of Huaisang’s books. But he’s never seen anyone actually… and he had no idea that Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang…
“Ohhhh… Jiang-xiong! Just put it in me already!”
Huaisang’s voice is low and sultry, desperate. He wriggles in JC’s hold, pushing his ass back against the hand violating him.
“Please, I need it” he whines.
JC leans forward over him to kiss the back of his neck, where Huaisang’s hair just brushes his skin.
“Just a little more,” he murmurs, his voice softer than Ouyang has ever heard it. “I don’t know if you can take–”
“I can take, Jiang-xiong, I’m ready, I want it, give it to me.” Huaisang pleads.
Ouyang can barely hear JC’s “Be good, A-Sang,” but he detects a change in his tone, a warning. JC bites down on NHS’s earlobe, making him jerk slightly, and straightens again. His hand tightens visibly on Huaisang’s waist, and the next time his other hand pushes forward,
Huaisang groans, eyes fluttering closed a moment. “Yes, Jiang-xiong, more, I need more.”
It’s hard to tell, but Ouyang guesses JC has added a third finger.
Lunch! More later
Ouyang watches as Jiang Cheng continues to work Huaisang open. The silence is punctuated by sighs and moans, and occasionally by Huaisang begging “Please…”. Jiang Cheng’s hand moves away from Huaisang’s waist, he moves it slowly up his side and then back down along the line of
Huaisang’s back, making him squirm a little. The hand finally settles on Huaisang’s left ass cheek, squeezing and kneading, and the thought that he’d never realized just how ROUND Huaisang’s butt was springs into Ouyang’s mind unbidden.
His mouth and throat feel parched (probably from sneaking down to Caiyi Town and back, he tells himself), and he remembers the jar of emperor’s smile. Slowly and silently he sinks down to sit against the wall below the window. Once there, and still listening to the moans coming
from the window above him, he works the jar open and takes a long chug, the alcohol burning its way down his throat. He leans his head back against the wall, thinking he really should just leave and finish the jar in the comfort of his own room, not here in the dark and chill.
“Jiang-XIONG,” Huaisang’s groan interrupts his train of thought. “Please… I… PLEASE…” His voice trails off in a groan.
“What, Huaisang, tell me,” Jiang Cheng’s voice carries a note of command, it’s the voice of a future sect leader.
“I want you.. I want your big cock in me… I want it to split me open”
Huaisang’s voice sounds absolutely debauched. Ouyang takes another drink before pushing off the wall. Instead of leaving he turns back and kneels beneath the window, then raises himself back up to peek inside
Nie Huaisang is still bent over the table. His head hangs between his shoulders, forehead resting against the back of his hands on the table. His ass is still bare and glistening in the light, and Ouyang has a better view now that Jiang Cheng has let go and stepped back a bit.
And Jiang Cheng… Jiang Cheng has grabbed a small bottle from the table and is undoing his belt.
Nie Huaisang squirms enticingly from where he is on the table and peeks back at Jiang Cheng.
“Hurry up, Jiang-xiong, I’m cold,” he whines.
“You’re so fucking impatient,” Jiang Cheng’s words lack their usual bite. He sounds fond.
And then he’s pushing his trousers down and stepping out of them, and. Well. Huaisang was right. The future sect leader of Yunmeng Jiang is blessed with a rather large cock.
It’s fully hard, curving slightly upwards, precum already beading at his slit.
The future sect leader of Baling Ouyang swallows hard and reaches down to get another long drink of alcohol. He thinks Jiang Cheng was probably right to prepare Nie Huaisang as much as he did.
He’s not sure, objectively, that that cock WILL fit without hurting Huaisang. He barely notices that he’s reaching down to rub his own awakening cock through his robes, watching in riveted fascination as Jiang Cheng pours oil on his palm and spreads it over his length.
And then he steps forward again, right behind Huaisang, and pushes a leg between Huaisang’s, using it to make push Huaisang’s legs further apart. He grabs Huaisang’s hips with both hands, fingers visibly digging into the skin. Jiang Cheng leans down over him, nuzzling at his neck
as he grinds his own hips forward, his hard dick, slick with oil, rubbing between Huaisang’s cheek, occasionally teasing at his hole. Huaisang buries his face against his hands again, his moans and words muffled “I want it, put it in me, now… please…”
Ouyang grinds the heel of his hand over the bulge in his robes, almost painfully. He watches with baited breath as Jiang Cheng pulls back, hiking Huaisang’s hips up so only his toes touch the floor. He positions the leaking tip of his dick against Huaisang’s hole and then pushes
inside, slowly and not all the way. Huaisang lets a high pitched mewl, raising his head, neck and back arching beautifully. Ouyang grabs at his dick through his robes, biting the inside of his cheek as he watches Jiang Cheng pull almost all the way out and thrust back in deeper.
Huaisang is gasping, eyes shut, his toes scrambling uselessly for purchase against the floor as Jiang Cheng drives steadily into him. From vantage, Ouyang sees as Jiang Cheng thrusts and bottoms out, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. He stills for a moment, and
Then lets go of Huaisang ‘s hip with one hand so he can wrap the arm around his waist instead, making the green robes hike up higher. Ouyang can see Huaisang’s dick now, more slender than Jiang Cheng’s but hard and leaking. Ouyang slips his hand inside his robes and pants,
grabbing his own rapidly hardening dick but imagining he’s doing that for Huaisang instead.
“Fuck, Huaisang, how are you still so tight?” Jiang Cheng’s voice is gravelly, strained from what’s an obvious effort to let Huaisang get used to him instead of just pounding into him.
Ouyang grips the base of his cock tightly, closing his eyes. He imagines what it might feel like to sink his dick into NHS’s perfect, pale ass… and then how it would feel to have Jiang Cheng’s erection fill HIM up. He imagines himself between them and almost comes from that.
Ok, need to sleep! More tomorrow. Whatever will happen next??
When he opens his eyes again, Jiang Cheng has started moving again, rolling his hips relentlessly against Huaisang. He uses his hold around Huaisang’s waist to pull him back and up, so Huaisang is forced to straighten his arms, bracing himself on his hands, head hanging between
his shoulders, face obscured by the loose fringe of hair that isn’t pulled back into his bun.
Jiang Cheng lets go of Huaisang’s hips to run his hand up his side, briefly dragging the green robs further up. They’re too long and heavy, so he eventually has to pull his hand away
from Huaisang’s skin. He’s still holding him tight by the waist, and now he drags his other hand across his chest, to his shoulder, pulling his robe open and off his shoulder. He leans forward, burying his face against the newly bared skin at the crook of his neck and shoulder.
This is giving me ideas.
#nielan ideas about Huaisang sending his brother to a tailor he knows to get a nice suit for Huaisang and Jiang Cheng’s wedding
So Nie Mingjue is a very down to earth, practical guy, buys his clothes off the rack like a regular person. And Huaisang decides, nope, that’s not gonna cut it, for HIS wedding, Dage needs a really nice, expensive suit that will fit him like a glove.
Gives him an address. Mingjue honestly thinks this is kind of ridiculous, but it’s what his baby brother wants, so of course he’ll indulge Huaisang. So he goes.
He steps into this very chic little atelier and this beautiful, super elegant man in a fitted waistcoat greets him with a smile and “You must be Huaisang’s brother, he told me to expect you”
So, in order to make him a bespoke suit, Xichen has to get his measurements! Which is kind of embarrasing for Mingjue, because he’s REALLY attracted to this guy.
And Xichen measures his shoulders and his waist, and then he has to measure his inseam. And, well, Mingjue reacts 🍆
And you really can’t hide that when the reason for your boner is a hot guy is measuring right THERE.
But Xichen is of course a pro and smiles reassuringly and says this happens all time, and would Mingjue like to use his bathroom to freshen up. Asks this like he hasn’t noticed the huge boner.
So Mingjue does, and he’s embarrased, but Xichen puts him at ease, and finishes up. And they pick fabrics and style and tells him to come back on a certain date for his first fitting.
So over the course of making this suit, they spend time together, and they’re both super attracted to each other, and possible there is sex right there in Xichen’s little atelier.
And when the wedding is closer, Huaisang, being a little shit, asks Dage if he’s bringing anyone. And Mingjue says, actually, yes, he’s bringing a date.
That date, of course, is Xichen.
And maybe, just maybe, that is exactly what Huaisang intended all along 💚
Thinking about NHS during practice at the CR, touching the back of his slender hand to his face and saying it’s very hot, he feels faint, and then proceeding to just that… conveniently when JC is right there so he can catch him.
Which JC does. And he’s briefly worried, because NHS does look flushed. But then NHS opens one and winks at him, before anyone can get close enough to notice. JC resists the urge to roll his eyes and just drop NHS.
LWJ looks at them suspiciously, but LXC sighs (refrains from smiling indulgently) and tells JC maybe it’s too hot for NHS, help him to his room to rest.
So JC does. Princess carries him away from the training yard, and mutters “What the hell are you up to?”
NHS laughs but then sighs dramatically “Heatstroke, Jiang-xiong, I have a delicate constitution…”
JC does roll his eyes at this.
He kicks open the door to NHS’ room when they get there, strides over to the bed and half lays, half dumps NHS on it. NHS stretches out languidly, still acting despite no one but them being there.
“Right,” JC says, and he starts to turn when he feels NHS hand on his robe.
“Don’t go Jiang-xiong, I’m still not recovered,” he says, pouting slightly.
JC looks down at him and can’t help laughing. He lets NHS tug him down to sit on his bed. “You’re unbelievable,” he says fondly.
NHS smiles and tugs him close enough to kiss.
~Some time later~
LQR sends JZX to check up on NHS, since JC never returned, is NHS ok? And JZX, because he’s JZX and didn’t have the sense to stop at the door and listen 5 seconds or knock, walks in one them, making out in bed, robes undone.
The poor peacock is very not amused at walking in on JC and NHS’ escapade! JC just glares and yells, while NHS has to try to keep them from yelling at each other and possibly getting in a fight and convincing JZX not to tell on them.
You might think after this, NHS might reconsider repeating his little fainting trick.
You’d be wrong.
In the past year I’ve maybe read two or three books, because I’ve been too busy reading Good Omens fanfiction. This is what I’m reading this week.
Also, this may become a regular thing. It will always be Ineffable Husbands, because this is one case where it really is a “One True Pairing”.
By indieninja92. Ongoing, author says it’s all written.
Post-canon. Things have progressed but not enough. Crowley got Aziraphale a smartphone two years before and loaded it with apps. Aziraphale is now on Grindr, and starts sexting with a mysterious stranger, who is of course Crowley. Neither realize who they’re texting with.
My favorite thing about this is the scenes when Crowley and Aziraphale hang out during the day (and which leave both with an itch to scratch at night).
The Doctor has disappeared in the Tardis. Aziraphale has disappeared from the bookshop. Crowley and Donna Noble team up to find them. Donna is absolutely magnificent.
AU. Crowley and Aziraphale misinterpret Agnes Nutter’s prophecy and are turned human but lose their memories. They keep living the same days, but in completely different lives and always find each other. I think it’s a glitch and not the intended punishment.
Anyway, I love timey wimey shenanigans!